Dog Embarrassed By His Pathetic Owner

2017-07-18T11:25:20+00:00 July 18, 2017|HUMOR|

BOULDER, COLORADO - It was another disappointing day in the life of Emerson. The 8-year old Golden Labrador spent today like he spends most days...staring out the window, imagining the awesome life he could’ve lived if only he had a different owner. 33-year old Jeremy Gibbens is the sorry excuse for a human who owns [...]

Report: 78% of Teenage Girls Can’t Even

2017-07-13T17:41:32+00:00 July 13, 2017|HUMOR|

A new study by the National Research Group confirmed what many experts already suspected: an overwhelming majority of teenage girls can't even. Results of the study triggered widespread panic as parents and educators began to wonder what they’re doing wrong. Shayla Macklin is the mother of two teenage girls; Becca, 16 and Addison, 14. Although [...]

Dallas Cowpersons vs. Washington Native Americans – A Preview of the NFL in 2040

2017-07-12T08:13:03+00:00 July 3, 2017|HUMOR, SPORTS|

Good afternoon ladies, gentlemen, ladies who were once men, former ladies who are now men and everyone else who’s still in transition...it’s a great day for football! I’m Herb Chandler, here along with Frank Potter and we’re excited to bring you another fantastic matchup between two great teams; the Dallas Cowpersons face the Washington Native [...]

Monday’s Illuminati Meeting to Be Rescheduled

2017-06-26T16:42:08+00:00 June 24, 2017|HUMOR|

To my fellow lords of the underworld and corporate boardrooms...I bid you greetings. I hope you’re having a fantastic week of dominion and mind-control over the masses. As you know, we have a meeting scheduled for this upcoming Monday at 8pm. But this appointed time is creating conflicts for several of our fellow Illuminati brothers. [...]

10 Phrases I Hate

2017-06-15T12:35:09+00:00 June 15, 2017|HUMOR, LANGUAGE|

Here are 10 phrases I hate. You may hate them too. Or perhaps there are other phrases that bother you. Tell me which phrases you dislike in the comments below. Here are mine in ascending order of hatred: 10. EVERYBODY AND THEIR DOG... If you've graduated from junior high school...you shouldn't be using this phrase [...]

Trump Currently Winning an Epic Game of Risk

2017-04-14T19:25:42+00:00 April 14, 2017|HUMOR, POLITICS|

The White House press corps and multiple sources are reporting that President Trump and his inner circle of advisers have been locked in a game of Risk for at least two weeks. At the time this post was published, Trump was in the lead with a solid stronghold in Asia. White House staffers suspect he [...]

A Country Should Be Managed Like a Home

2017-03-20T00:39:32+00:00 February 7, 2017|HUMOR, POLITICS|

When it comes to running a country, it’s not much different than running a home, or at least it shouldn’t be. Granted, there are 319 million more people in the country than there are in your home, but that doesn’t change any of the dynamics that a country and a home have in common. Although [...]

UPDATE: Democrats Are Still Protesting Stuff

2017-03-20T01:13:51+00:00 February 2, 2017|HUMOR, NEWS & CULTURE, POLITICS|

In a unified demonstration of solidarity, Democratic voters and the Democrats of Congress they elected all entered the new month of February 2017 with an insatiable desire to continue protesting stuff. Across the nation in airports, college campuses, busy intersections and in Congress, the nation’s Democrats maintained an impressive display of general outrage towards anything [...]